The New Year creeps into our lives if we want it to or not. This is the anniversary of Phillip A. Thomas’ death. This time last year we were happy that dad was home from the hospital, but to be called to the house after the ball fell New Year’s Eve to say that he decided to go home. New Year’s was planning a funeral last year, so this year, death, has changed our view of the New Year.

Two men, two very powerful men who were the center of each of our families are not here as the New Year begins. Max Attebery left his legacy on not only his children, but his grandchildren. So many stories of the kids climbing all over him as he lay in his comfy recliner chair. So many stories and photos to show what an impact this man had on the lives of those he cherished. So much so, that he was ill and noticed that his family was hungry. He took it upon himself to go out and get food for his family and put aside the pain he must have been in, which is what makes him an exceptional man. He put his needs aside to take care of those he loved. Unfortunately, that time he took to take care of his family ended up in him hurting himself from getting lunch for everyone. When he walked into the door his heart had a problem, he blacked out, and broke his shin bone. He was hospitalized. He then endured two surgeries. 1^st was on his heart and the 2^nd to repair his leg which ended up with a halo around his shin to prevent him from moving. Even with such adversity, he was determined to be home with his family, but first he was put into hospice since they said he would not make it. His strong will led him to be taken home where he was able to take part of his family’s everyday life even though he was bed ridden. He succumbed on July 10^th which was 7 days after his twin sons’ birthdays. If you can imagine him, he was 6′ 3″ and stocky, a massive man who towered over kids, but those long arms enveloped so many kids that remember him to this day. It has been said that he was the “glue” that held the family together. Who will take up his torch and be the “glue” because it takes a very special person to fill his shoes or sit in his recliner.

The other man who is missed so much I can hardly breathe writing this. I miss his voice, his advice, his laughter, his singing, his ultra light cigarettes so it did not seem like he was smoking. I miss him just like Max is missed at every family get-together. I remember this tower of man with a voice who could wake the dead become so frail in such a short period of time. The cancer that ravaged his body took him so fast. All we wanted was more time. We look back and he was healthy in October. We chose to sit with him to give out candy, but the chemotherapy had touched his system and it was apparent he was getting tired quicker. Just 3 treatments, so by the time Thanksgiving came around he was only able to sit for a few minutes and ate nothing. It was the first Thanksgiving he did not make the turkey. We all knew, but didn’t want to admit it just yet. By Christmas, it was obvious the cancer or chemotherapy had ravaged his body to the point of no return. He said no more to chemotherapy. This was a 6 foot plus marine who was the only one to survive out of his platoon in Korea to end with such an internal illness was beyond imagination. Dec. 31^st we went home to get some sleep since for the past few weeks we were in the waiting room waiting for that last breath. He told Robert “make them stop” since we were all crying so much and thought he would not leave the hospital. He made Robert promise that he have us take a shot after his death. He was determined to be home by New Years, and that is what happened. He succumbed on Jan. 1^st 2009. If you can imagine him, he has a wonderful smile that was true to his words. We are a stronger family because of him. We love better. We accept better. We laugh together because of the foundation he planted for us.

Neither man minced words, but spoke words of wisdom, God, and love. They live within us each day. We need to remember them because that is who we are. If we forget them then it is easy to be different and lose the values we have been taught. Each man left a legacy and just their deaths was more about the family then themselves. The sacrifice and selflessness is admirable. Their legacy is to give to others and to focus on family. They loved without condition. No matter the mistake. No matter what they loved us. May we live our lives the same way, so our hope is to accept, love, and embrace everything in our lives, even the dark times.

May this year bring you memories of those who affected you and you apply what you have learned from them.

DDF