What happens when your eating disorder grows old? Strange question to ask I know? But for all the physical flaws my disorder tried to rid, the lines on my face still came. The pounds around my midsection still expanded, and gravity seems to have won on multiple levels. I look at this generation and I wonder if one day they won’t be asking the same question.
It wasn’t until 6th grade that the fear and anxiety about food or the consequences of eating enveloped my whole being. It was the year I discovered that my peers' opinions meant more to me than I could ever imagine. Not being able to manage the feelings associated with being made fun of/teased about my looks took its toll on my outward outlook on life. It can spiral into depression and substance abuse. It is why today I look in the mirror and see me aging right along with the disorder I still have to work on day by day. But in my story, I did find my way out of that 6th grade mindset to have a very happy successful life. It took work and perseverance which are skills I had to learn and manage to overcome the dark path of my youth.
This little background is my personal experience, but I see it every day in the youth I am talking with now. The fear and anxiety of coming out of their Covid lockdown tombs into the light of the unknowns to a world being unmasked and seen. Into the world with no coping skills like me in 6th grade. Falling into the same multifaceted self-loathing abuse traps leading to so many dark paths. A lot of failure is happening in our schools right now. A lot of escapism behaviors. Our students have lost the traits of self-advocacy, independence, character, resolve, or the ability to overcome barriers. The amount of medications these kids are on to counter their mental health deficits has skyrocketed. It is like you are watching a head on collision with no way of stopping it, but you are there to see the devastation trying to help pick up the pieces. More or less seems like a futile effort on some days.
We don’t apply the social, emotional, mental development strategies that build character today, but instead apply victimhood or just change your gender or just live out your meaningless pointless existence. It doesn’t enter into the true heart, mind, and soul of our youth anymore but just surface bandages with no hearing of inner wounds. Which is why I am so disillusioned by being a counselor in a school today. When I started out as an educator there were so many success stories because our approach benefitted students with “character counts.”
“CHARACTER COUNTS! helps students develop perseverance so they can pursue their goals despite their frustrations, mistakes, setbacks, and other obstacles that make learning and other difficult tasks seem impossible. It nurtures the social and emotional development needed for learning.”
The pillars were: trustworthy, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship
This is foundational teaching, any guesses where you will find them? The Bible!
-the character of people is found in all of Paul’s letters
-Romans 5, Philippians 4, Colossians 3, Ephesians 4, corinthians 11, 2 Thessalonians 3, Titus 1, Philemon, and 1st & 2nd Timothy,
Galatians 5: 22-23 (I did an in depth study on my site)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is now low.”
When I heard this song “Again” by Jeremy Camp I thought of myself and all the others who struggle with self-doubt. Who makes mistakes. Who have lost their faith. Who needs restoration. Who have been wandering for far too long. Love will always be over and over again!
Here I am again
Back in the same place I’ve been
So many times
Here I am again
Losing the battle
And thinking I’ll never win this fight
I'm so ashamed, down on my knees
I know there's grace but is there grace for me?
Fall after fall, prayer after prayer
Father, will You still be there?
Here You are again
Forgiving, redeeming my heart again
Standing me up on my feet again
You show me Your mercy will never run out
Prayers for all of you this Thanksgiving as joy and loneliness stand side by side at times.